Confession Time: Embrace Your Weird

I’m feeling inspired to make a confession this morning. A confession that I’m sure many people can relate to. For most of my life I didn’t know who I was; not really anyway. I wasn’t true to myself; I was self-conscious, riddled with self-doubt, and I’d change my colors to feel liked, wanted, and to make people think I had my sh*t together. Surprise! I most definitely did not have my sh*t together.

I spent much of my life thinking that there was something wrong with me. I had a giant wall up and did not let anyone through. I had no self-esteem to speak of. In my relationships I was usually the one to initiate the breakup because I couldn’t handle the thought of them breaking up with me and feeling rejected. On some subconscious level I was basically screaming, “Love me so I don’t have to love myself!” I thought I was never good enough and that I didn’t deserve the good things in life.

I was a chronic worrier and had social anxiety that I tried to suppress by being someone I wasn’t. At some point in elementary school I suffered from panic attacks which left me lying awake at night. In high school I was depressed and lived an apathetic life. Following high school I fell into some self-destructive behaviors and did what I wanted without caring whether it hurt someone else. (It was easy for me to emotionally disconnect since I was depressed).

After one particular incident when I was 20, I decided I really needed to figure myself out. Shortly after that I met my future husband. I felt at ease with him and realized that I didn’t have to pretend to be anyone but me. I let my wall down and he thought I was awesome just the way I was. It took a while to peel away these layers that had accumulated over the years to get to the true me. Once I found the true me, standing naked and vulnerable for me to look at, I realized, Hey, I am awesome.

This brings me to “Embrace Your Weird”. Felicia Day recently released a book You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) and it really resonated with me. There were some parts that felt so familiar to me that I actually cried. She recently had a campaign called Embrace Your Weird to raise awareness and funds for the non-profit Stomp Out Bullying which is an anti-cyberbullying charity. Embrace Your Weird is totally my slogan for life. These days I still have some social anxiety and dread new situations, but I can confidently say that if someone doesn’t like me for who I am or thinks I’m weird because of one thing or another, I honestly don’t care. I’m not a conventional person in any sense of the word. “Traditional” and “normal” are never words that I would use to describe myself. Now that I have a healthy self-esteem, have self-worth, and self-confidence, “fitting in” is not on my agenda. If someone is offended by me or thinks I should change, then they can kindly take their leave because I don’t have the time and energy to feed into that negativity. Life is too short.


I say all of this to get to this point here at the end. As a mom of a 2.5-year-old, I want him to grow up with the message “embrace your weird”. I want him to know that his parents will love and support him no matter how “weird” he is. I want him to be able to come to us and talk to us when other kids are not as accepting, and I want him to feel confident enough in himself to not be terribly bothered by not being accepted by everyone. Most of all, I want him to love himself and know that he isn’t necessarily “weird” at all, but that he’s a totally awesome human being.

As the great Addams Family once said, “Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”

My Favorite Fall Things (A Song)

Fall is in the air! The Autumn Equinox is September 23rd which heralds the official start of fall. Where I am, the leaves are already slowly beginning to change, the air is crisp, and apple picking opens tomorrow. To commemorate my love for all things fall, I made up a song which I feel sums up why I love fall so much. It’s sung (or read along) to the tune of My Favorite Things from The Sound of Music. I hope it gets you into the fall spirit! You’re welcome.

My Favorite Fall Things

Sunlight that’s waning and warm knitted sweaters
Full moons on crisp nights and leaves changing colors
Pumpkin spice flavors in everything
These are a few of my favorite fall things

Costumes to make that are scary or charming
Pumpkins for picking and gutting and carving
On Halloween night when the doorbells ring
These are a few of my favorite fall things

Lighting of candles for those who have passed on
Giving thanks for all that has come and has gone
A feast with the family that’s worth sharing
These are a few of my favorite fall things

Pumpkin patches
Apple offerings
Eating squash nonstop
I simply love everything that autumn brings,
And it makes me feel so glad!

Fall is in the air